Dad's joke that could make me laugh no matter what the weather was in my current life situation...
"2 pigs fell in the mud. 3 came out."
Sounds simple. Even not that funny. But when it was followed up by the heartiest, soul smiling laugh of my dad, it was the best joke I had ever heard. And quite possibly will ever hear.
My dad, Andy, passed away in October 2008. And although I miss him terribly and I want to hug him, and smell his aftershave (yep he still called it that). The one thing I miss more than anything else is that laugh. It could make you smile, and laugh despite yourself. It could cheer you up when the silver lining was nowhere to be seen. And what I wouldn't give to hear that sound resonate in my ears again.
Now this isn't supposed to be sappy or even sad. But some days that grief hits you out of the blue. It did me this weekend. I was relaxing at my house, and happened to notice a picture of my dad. It was taken in 1997 the year my oldest, Ben, was born. He is making the goofiest face in the photo, and I was overcome with the loss of him. He was an amazing dad, grandfather, provider, and just man I think ever existed. I know I'm biased, who isn't when it comes to their own parents?
My mother often said we were two peas in a pod. To be honest, I was the female version of him. I often call myself the "reconciliation baby". My parents were separated, already with 4 children, and then I came along. My mother conceived me on purpose. No seriously...she did. And it worked. My parents were blessed to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary before he passed away. But ironically God had a little trick up his sleeve. He gave my mother the carbon copy of father to raise. Funny isn't it??
Here's a few of the many things we have in common:
1. I was due on his birthday, November 29th. I came 2 days late, December 1st. This makes us both a Sagittarius. My poor mother.
2. Sarcasm...need I say more?
3. The ability to not have to say much to express our feelings. In fact we down right HATE having to express our inner workings. Emotions seem trite, and we think you should just know exactly how we feel. This, as you can imagine, is the cause of many misunderstandings, arguments, and moments of complete bewilderment from those who love us and put up with us.
4. The uncanny sense of timing to drop a joke.
5. Good looks. Hahahahaha!! Kind of joke here. I've often said I got the shallow end of the gene pool, being the youngest and all. But my dad was striking in his youth, and wasn't too shabby in his old age either.
6. The innate ability to have our own conversation with my mother never being the wiser. We could talk over her head for hours and never tire of it.
My dad and I had a special connection. Now don't tell my siblings, they seem to think they have this in the bag, but I know the truth. He connected with me because of our similarities. I am thankful I am very much like him, and I believe this is where the sadness comes into play. I could tell him I was sad, much more than my mom. So who do I tell now that he is gone?
So today I started blogging as way to get these pent up feelings out. I know, I know, I just said I hated to spill my guts. Buts its easier to do so here, without feeling like I'm being judged. My blogger name is Billy Bad Ass. I often play him on TV, but if you want the truth, I'm a softy. Just like my dad...
Here's to hoping I hear his laugh in my dreams...
Good Night, and dream BIG!!
